Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
