It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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