you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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