didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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