your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
