and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
