He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
