Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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