I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
