Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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