how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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