I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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