I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
