How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
