Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
