At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
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Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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