i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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