worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
