420 ftw
Your tits are I can't wait for
so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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