We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize