chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
