shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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