idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
