dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
