All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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