Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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