Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
