Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
