i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
