Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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