did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
