their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
