Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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