i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
