Betty ford says i'm here all night
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
