No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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