Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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