I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
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he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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