I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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