i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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