I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize
