So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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