1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize