I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
