I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
