i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Green mimosas i think yes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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