I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
