her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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