fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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