Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
