Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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