her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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