I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
