glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
