I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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