wake up i wanna do it froggy style
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
