well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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