It's Friday. Sex?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
